When Bernie talks about her 15-month-old son, Aidan, you can hear the smile in her voice.
“He’s a cute little redhead. He loves going to daycare, and overall, he’s a really happy kid,” she shares.
“He’s obsessed with his sausage dog sister, Sal. When he wakes up, he always looks for her. They’re like two peas in a pod.”
Aidan was born with a congenital lung issue, but it doesn’t slow him down one bit. Like most toddlers, he’s a bundle of energy who keeps his family very busy.
So when he developed a cough that wouldn’t go away, Bernie began to worry.
“At first, we thought it was just a regular cold, because he’d just started going to daycare,” she says. “But he’d been coughing for a while, and he didn’t look so great. So, we did what most parents do and went to the doctor.”
After two visits, Bernie had been assured that Aidan’s cough would likely pass on its own. But by the weekend, it hadn’t improved.
“His cough was getting worse, and he was having trouble breathing. You know when their breathing starts to sound like it’s coming from their chest?”
As a first-time mom, Bernie was worried she was overreacting. “I didn’t want to waste resources. I just kept asking, at what point do we need to go? So, I called 811, and the nurse told us to go to Surrey Memorial Hospital.
Because of Aidan’s condition, Bernie was used to scheduled hospital appointments. But this visit felt very different.
“I was scared. I’m seeing other kids who seem just as unwell too. I guess you just feel vulnerable and helpless, because you’re relying on a doctor who probably has to see 100 other kids that day, to take the time and listen to what you’re saying and give your child the care they need.”
Thankfully, that’s exactly what happened.
A Doctor Who Listened
The pediatric emergency physician carefully listened to Bernie as she explained Aidan’s medical history and everything that had happened over the past week.
“The doctor heard every single thing I said. And when I asked questions, he actually took the time to give me answers. He was so professional and committed. I have nothing but great things to say about him.”
After examining Aidan, the doctor decided they needed to be more proactive with his treatment. He prescribed steroids and antibiotics, and reassured Bernie that she should see an improvement within a few days.
He was right.
“Within three days, he was better,” Bernie shares, the relief clear in her voice.
But something else happened during that visit that Bernie hasn’t been able to forget.
“It gave me goosebumps.”
While Bernie and Aidan waited for his medication, another family was being cared for on the other side of the curtain.
“It was a mother and her daughter, about five years old,” Bernie remembers.
“The mom was clearly worried, but when the doctor came in, she was having a hard time communicating in English. Her daughter was trying to explain to the doctor why her mom had brought her in. Imagine, as a five-year-old, trying to translate for your parent.”
Bernie heard as the doctor explained how the family should care for the little girl at home. But as the conversation seemed to be ending, she could tell the mother was still uneasy.
“I could see her as I was packing up our things to go. In her own way, she was trying to say, ‘I don’t think that’s everything. There’s something else going on with my child.’”
Bernie’s voice fills with emotion as she remembers that moment.
“I’m an immigrant. I understand when your English isn’t great, it can be really hard to express yourself. And you’re in such a vulnerable position, when it’s your child who is sick. How do you make sure your child gets the best care when you can’t properly express what you want to say? And there was her little daughter, trying to explain…”
Then, instead of hurrying away to his next patient, the doctor stopped.
“He just sat with her, and gave her the time to explain in her own words,” Bernie says. “It didn’t matter that she was taking a few extra minutes. Just letting her know, ‘I’m here. I’m here to listen.’”
One question from the doctor has stayed with her: “How can I reassure you?”
What made the moment even more remarkable was how busy the Pediatric Emergency Department was that day. There were other sick children and worried families waiting for care. But in that moment, the doctor took the time to be there.
“This doctor was just connected to this mom and this daughter,” Bernie remembers.
For Bernie, the moment hit close to home.
“As a parent, when it comes to your child’s wellbeing, you don’t want to mess up. You want to make sure you understand every little bit of information. But as someone who speaks two languages, sometimes you might mistranslate or misunderstand. Having the ability to ask for help and receive care from someone in a way you understand, it’s just critical.
That’s why watching the doctor make time for this mother affected her so deeply.
“I had to go to the hospital a lot growing up, because of a congenital condition. I think that’s the first time I saw a doctor not only show care for the child, but also the parent,” she shares. “It gave me goosebumps.”
Caring for the whole family
For Bernie, it reflected the compassion her own family experienced throughout their visit.
“To be a parent, to feel heard, to feel like this person is here for the right reasons, and they want to assure you that your child will be okay… that’s the level of care people need.”
And it wasn’t just one doctor who made Bernie and Aidan feel cared for.
It was the nurses who were kind and reassuring to her little boy. It was the people who helped her when she first arrived, unsure where to go.
“There’s something to be said about feeling like you’re in a community. It was everyone along the way who made me feel way less alone.”
That kind of compassion, she believes, is something special.
“That cannot be taught. That’s not something you learn through your university degree. That is purely the people who choose to be kind and to be of service.”
Helping exceptional care continue
Today, Aidan is back to being the happy, busy little boy his family knows and loves. He’s back at daycare, has six teeth (with a seventh on the way), and follows his ‘sister’ Sal everywhere.
But Bernie still thinks about the people she met at Surrey Memorial, and especially the care she witnessed between a doctor, a worried mother, and a young daughter.
“We are so lucky,” she says. “There are people with a lot of empathy and compassion who show up for the most vulnerable in our community, our children.”
It’s why she hopes others will do what they can to support health care in their community, whether by donating, volunteering, or finding another way to help.
“What better way to ensure that children in our community grow up healthy,” Bernie says, “and that they have the opportunities and the access to the best care this country can offer?”
When you support Surrey Hospitals Foundation, you help make exceptional, compassionate care possible for children like Aidan, and ensure that the families beside them are heard, reassured and supported.
This is the kind of care your support helps strengthen.
During the Kirmac Cares for Kids Match Campaign, every gift can make twice the impact for children and families. Help strengthen children’s care with Kirmac Cares for Kids Match Campaign
